{"id":219,"date":"2019-01-27T19:58:29","date_gmt":"2019-01-27T19:58:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joshwagner.xyz\/?p=219"},"modified":"2019-01-27T21:58:09","modified_gmt":"2019-01-27T21:58:09","slug":"oops-invasion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joshwagner.xyz\/?p=219","title":{"rendered":"Oops, Invasion!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Earlier I posted: “Accidentally broke into a castle today.” This was a lie. Sort of. I fabricated the statement to increase my crime score while dodging total responsibility for trespassing. Two whopping exaggerations.

The break-in wasn’t actually all that nefarious, and it was totally intentional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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But the post is true in how accurately it describes the way I felt <\/em>at the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In practice “not exactly accidentally not quite breaking into” a castle feels way more like “accidentally breaking into a castle” than anything else. Subjective experience-wise, these are the only words for the job. An inside job. A siege and heist of zero consequence. Something mischievous. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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North Berwick is my soul. I have somehow been around since September without taking the 30 minute train to this wild rocky shore, whose beach you can follow for a couple hours to reach not one, but TWO fortresses. There’s the castle itself, but before getting there you’ll also come across a barbwire fenced-in concrete compound, which I think is either a power station of some kind or a bunker from WWII. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever it is, it’s not on Google maps. And, while penetrable, they take their fencing seriously. I did not get any good pictures of this fortress because I am a bad person. Here’s a pretty beach instead. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I chose the modern fortress as my point of ascension because I wanted to see it up close. But also because coastal walks and mountain hikes temporarily cure my diabetes and I was going crazy low crazy fast. Not the sort of conditions under which I want to skirt a narrow shore where the sticky fingers of ten foot waves obliterate themselves against slippery boulders. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Plus, scaling Scotland hills is the BEST. It’s like climbing up sponge cake. Sleeping on this grass would be comfy as any fine bed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway.

Up top I found the fenced-off fortress surrounded by farmland. A low stone wall wrapped along the cliffside as far as I could see. So I could either turn back and go a half hour out of my way, or hop the wall and cut across country. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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This brings us to the “accidentally” part. I hadn’t intended to break into the castle, but I was too medically concerned (with the crazy lows and all) to waste more time. Also lazy. Fine. True. By the time I reached the castle I was already two walls and a fence into my siege, so why stop there? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, I can’t claim full crime-score on this because I also have a membership card that would have admitted me for free had I gone around to the gate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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In conclusion, I present my case before the mercy of the court, who neither cares whether or not I fling around dramatic figurative language, nor requires any excuse for sneaking into a place they’d have let me in anyway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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